To be, or not to be
by Aria7
Summary: Fingon debates whether to be, or not to be an elder brother, or, something along those lines. For Klose.


Disclaimer: I do not own, have never owned and probably will never own any of the characters and places used here in. (So don't sue me.) 

Author's note: This is a birthday fic for Klose (September 1st) for her sixteenth birthday, Happy sweet sixteenth!! And since she wanted Fingon, here's my way of giving him, so here it is, a very fluffy fic starring a… slightly (possibly) Au Fingon et al.

Quick word of warning though this is very different to my normal style, as in very different, and Quenya names have been used throughout because Fingon insisted. But anyway, on with the fic.

To be, or not to be… 

My name is Findekáno, son of Nolofinwë and I am the elder brother of two children. Turukáno the elder, a brother, and the younger Irissë, a sister. 

                I never wanted to be an elder brother, I never wanted siblings period. Life used to be pretty simple just me, mother and father, oh yeah, and grandfather, grandmother, my uncles Fëanáro and Arafinwë and my aunts, Findis, Faniel and Lalwen. Like I said pretty simple, unless you count uncle Fëanáro's mood swings, my cousin Makalaurë finally figuring out that airborne food is better than eaten food, oh and uncle Arafinwë blushing over some of father's jokes; not that I ever understood them, I mean, everyone knows uncle Arafinwë gets seasick, it's no great secret, just like everyone knew that he loved Lord Olwë's daughter Eärwen.

                But anyway, this one day, a perfectly normal day, so I was playing outside with Ollindo, he's one of father's friend's sons, and not half bad at hide and seek; but, as I was saying, suddenly father comes out to see me with Uncle Fëanáro carrying my cousin Makalaurë, that;

                "Uncle Arafinwë is getting married to the Lady Eärwen."

So I said to him; "good, it's about time."

Father looked quite abashed to put it mildly but, uncle Fëanáro just smirked, I don't know why.

                A year later Uncle Arafinwë and the Lady Eärwen were married and I remember saying to Maitimo, he's my elder cousin by the way, that "things would settle down again now." He looked at me oddly at that and shook his head; when pressed all he would say was that;

"Things would become more unsettled before they become settled again."

Very confusing, but then Maitimo is like that a lot, he always says things to confuse me, I think it's his hobby. I really should have listened to him though.

It was quite a while later when it happened, and I was fast approaching my twentieth conception day, I was visiting my grandfather Finwë. Grandfather used to frighten me when I was really little. I think it had something to do with him being the Noldorin High-King. But, as I was saying, I was visiting grandfather Finwë and he was telling me of his old friend Elwë; Elwë went missing on the Great Journey and no one knows what happened to him. Well, the Valar might know but like they would ever tell. Anyway, grandfather was telling me of Elwë, yet again, when someone comes in, to this day I don't know the nér's name, and he's carrying a message from Uncle Arafinwë to grandfather; and grandfather reads it and smiles this sort of gentle, loving, 'fatherly' smile that I don't think anyone has ever been able to duplicate. He closes the letter and dismisses the servant before turning to me and telling me in that gentle, comforting and yet at times commanding voice, like the one he uses when uncle Fëanáro and father argue over, well, what ever it is they ever argue over, I'm getting off topic again aren't I? Well to cut a long story short grandfather tells me that I'm;

"Going to have another cousin."

I remember frowning a little and saying quite seriously to him; "but grandfather, I already have two cousins, I can't possibly have anymore." To which he laughed telling me that I was, 'more than likely going to get a few more, considering the amount of aunts and uncles I had.'

I went home not long after that and the strange occurrences decided to follow me home where mother and father waited until I was beginning to doze on father's knee curled against his chest, a very good position to fall asleep in let me tell you, before springing on me that I was not just going to get another cousin next year but also a younger sibling. To say I looked a little astounded would be an understatement and I asked them, quite hurt;

"Was I that awful a son that they needed another?"

To which both responded in the negative and asked me;

"Did I not want a younger sibling like my cousin Maitimo had little Makalaurë?"

To which I responded that; 

"Not if he cried as much as Makalaurë used to when he was a little baby, and certainly not if he threw any food at me."

Father simply laughed, I was really getting sick of being laughed at that day, and said that 'it wasn't all that bad, and that he had survived three younger siblings and that they were great fun to have around.' I went to sleep that night dreaming of little brothers who cried at all times of the day and night, and who got seasick constantly, quite frankly I was terrified. Maitimo didn't help much over that year either simply telling me that there was naught that I could do, especially since mother was already pregnant with a baby, and that I should simply pray to get a quiet one as unlike Makalaurë as possible; who had recently learnt that, climbing trees and crowing as loud as possible once you reached the top was great fun. Unfortunately though he could never get back down again and so always ended up in tears in the top branches before being rescued usually by Maitimo, who could get to the top branches without breaking them.

So I waited in suspense all that year to see what horror my mother would bring into my life and I wasn't disappointed. A week before Makalaurë's sixth conception day, 'it' was born. By 'it' I refer to my younger brother Turukano, he of the rather large ego, who is too smart than is natural for any Elven child. Father says we look a like, personally, I can't see the resemblance; what with his too large head and too little ears. He was a 'thing' pure and simple. Now my uncle's child was born three days after little Makalaurë's conception day, now he, he was a baby that I would have been proud to have been an older brother to. Findaráto son of Arafinwë, gentle, friendly, smart, now that is the type of brother I had hoped for; not that, that 'thing' that father said was my brother.

I remember I decided that I couldn't remain at home with 'it' and so I attempted to stay with Maitimo all the time but, he had to look after Makalaurë and help his father in the forge so I gave that house up as a lost cause. Next stop was my Uncle Arafinwë's but he and Aunt Eärwen only had eyes for their son, not that I could blame them, even as a tot Findarato had a rather enchanting quality to him, so I soon left them be. Aunt Findis spent all her time on Taniquetil with some Vanya nér who later became my uncle; how that happened I'm still not sure. Aunt Lalwen still lived with grandfather and grandmother, and besides she was a little flighty at times, so I didn't want to go stay with either of them. Which only left me with Aunt Faniel, now don't get me wrong Aunt Faniel is alright, but, she's not really a people person. To quote Aunt Lalwen, 'she's a worse book-worm than Fëanáro ever was'; which should explain her character. So, I soon ended up back home with the 'it' that had taken over my home.

I avoided him. Mother was upset, so was father but still I avoided him. Until he was about two, yes, it was almost his second conception day and I woke up one night to find this 'thing' curled up in my bed attempting to cuddle me; needless to say I was not impressed, and quite rudely woke him, asking him 'why it was he thought that he could simply crawl into my bed and attempt to cuddle me'. To which he replied quite heatedly with his bottom lip stuck out, as only a baby can, that 'I was his brother and he had had a rather bad dream that involved me getting lost like grandfather's friend Elwë (grandfather had been over the day earlier telling stories), and that, he was cuddling me to make sure that I didn't disappear; especially since he barely used to see me. Now you have to understand something, up until this point I had quite frankly disliked the little toe-rag immensely. I hadn't wanted him and so, I hadn't liked him. But, hearing him say this I, oh, I don't know, I just hugged him, told him not to be silly, that I would always be there and to go back to sleep; to which he smiled a rather sleepy smile and promptly fell asleep in my arms. And so from then on I think I finally found that having a little brother wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But, having a sister was to be a very different experience. 

~~~~

                Over the years between my brother and sisters birth I gained quite a few things; my majority for one, an apprenticeship with my Aunt Faniel, father wasn't pleased about that one I can assure you, another uncle and numerous cousins. To be precise three more, Artaher, Angaráto and Ambaráto from Uncle Arafinwë's side of the family and another three, Tyelkormo, Carnistir and Atarinkë from my Uncle Fëanáro's side of the family. Strangely enough all of my new cousins were male. Now where was I? Oh yes, now I remember, well in the same year that Turukáno and Findaráto were turning sixty something rather unexpected happened; both mother and Aunt Eärwen became pregnant, again, within a few weeks of each other; and a year later two new children were added unto the family.

                To my Uncle Arafinwë and Aunt Eärwen they were gifted a golden haired daughter whom they named Artanis, though her mother name Nerwen perhaps suited her better; for she was tall and strong like the Vanyar.

                To our family though we were also given a girl-child and she was named Irissë. But where Artanis was golden, Irissë was dark, and where Artanis bore the countenance of the Vanyar, our grandmother's kin, Irissë looked rather like the Noldor, our grandfather's and mother's kin. I had sworn to myself ere I laid eyes upon her that I would not be the devoted elder brother that I just knew my cousin Findaráto would become to his younger sister. But, when I saw her, she captured both my heart and my soul, though never had I wished for another sibling, one, was certainly enough. Yet when I saw her, this, little child in my mothers arms I loved her; and she has held my heart in thraldom ever since. Though Turukáno has it worse than even I and does all she asks, more fool him I say, not that I am immune to her charms, oh no, I am not. I simply spend longer away from home than my younger brother and so perhaps I have a greater resistance to my wild-hearted little sister who does so love to aggravate me.

                So now, I am almost one hundred and twenty years old and mother is pregnant again, what to do this time I do not know. If it is a boy perhaps I can escape from the house, I am of age so it is not a crime. But if it is anything like Turukáno it will find a way to make an older brother out of me; and, if it is a girl. Well, I think it has already gotten me to adore it, and it hasn't even been born yet.

                My name is Findekáno, son of Nolofinwë, and I think my younger siblings have finally cornered me into loving them.

~~~~

Fini.

~~~~

Name notes:

Findekáno = Fingon

Nolofinwë = Fingolfin

Turukáno = Turgon

Irissë = Aredhel

Arafinwë = Finarfin

Maitimo = Maedhros

Makalaurë = Maglor

Fëanáro = Feanor

Findaráto = Finrod

Artanis Nerwen = Galadriel

Artaher = Orodreth

Angaráto = Angrod

Ambaráto = Aegnor

Tyelkormo = Celegorm

Carnistir = Caranthir

Atarinkë= Curufin


End file.
